Like many of us, I too get caught in rumination and overthinking.
I have understood that relying on sense-making is one of the ways I have learnt to cope. With the hope of not making the same mistake, I may, for example, unwittingly sift through past memories to see where things had gone wrong. Before I have realised it, I could been chewing on the past for way too long.
To cope with uncertainty, in another instance, I may try to come up with numerous contingency plans in my mind for as many possibilities I can think of. And then, I end up overthinking.
Relatable? This post was written as I reflected about this issue and how it also affects my clients. Possibly you too?
Impact of Rumination and Overthinking
Thoughts from the past or those about the possibilities of the future may swirl in our mind. We could get stuck in such mental patterns.
There is nothing wrong with trying to analyse the past or plan for the future. The thing is: how long do we want to stay locked in analysing or planning?
We may be losing sleep and end up staying wide awake in bed when a whole day of activities await us the following day.
We may be lost in our thoughts while in the company of others and we end up not following what’s happening.
We may end up feeling more helpless and frustrated as we turn our thoughts over and over again.
In addition, we may be reexperiencing the emotions that come with those mental patterns too.
What I Do for Coping with Rumination and Overthinking
I do occasionally find myself awake at night “trying to solve” my feelings. Of course, I wouldn’t know I was doing it until I found myself in the midst of it.
I may not even have known I had feelings about something until I catch myself sleepless in bed. Insomnia is my cue. And, it is my bane.
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 1a) Leaning into the Data: Why??
This is how my coping with rumination and overthinking may look like as I process it:
Me: “Ah, I’m thinking about so many possible scenarios about something I am not even sure about.”
Me: “Why?”
Me: “I see… I’m feeling anxious. Because of the uncertainty.”
(Guess what I would do next?)
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 1b) Return to the Body
I would say to myself: “I see. Okay, I was trying to solve my anxiety. I can’t solve anxiety. Let’s do some breathing exercises.”
I would work on returning to my body and to stay out of my mind. Because rehashing the same things over and over again usually doesn’t help. Especially if it’s at night and I’m tired and I’m thinking in the same ways.
Familiar?
Returning to the body could look like paying attention to my breath as it enters my nose and leaves my nose/ mouth.
Returning to the body could look like listening to a guided meditation and engaging in some progressive muscle relaxation technique.
Returning to the body could also look like putting warm hands over my heart and offering myself some healing touches to soothe the emotions I am feeling.
Do I succeed with this coping strategy for rumination and overthinking?
Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, no.
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 2) “Brain Dump”/ “Mind Dump”
This is how I switch my coping when I find myself looping in my mind again:
I get out of the bed. Yep, it annoys the hell out of me to have to do that BUT I know I have to MOVE my body to get my mental patterns to MOVE too.
(This is also in line with recommended sleep hygiene practices because we want to associate our bed with sleep, not with rumination or overthinking.)
What I tend to do at this stage is a “mind dump” or a “brain dump”: I grab paper and pen and I write out what’s on my mind. The paper becomes a vessel for my brain to know that I treat the thoughts I have as important data: I record them.
Should I choose to revisit them, I would be able to find them. (Sincerely, revisiting those notes is rare.)
After writing out my thoughts, I will take some mindful breaths to reconnect with my body and show some care for myself – my body has definitely been impacted by the rumination/ overthinking – because hey, I hadn’t been able to fall asleep. Then, I return to bed.
This tends to help me, even if it’s already 3am in the morning.
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 3) Move Your Body
This coping strategy can also be applied, even if you are not overthinking in bed. That means that if you have found yourself carried away by your thoughts in the middle of work or while having your meal, just move your body out of that space. Out of the chair, out of the position you were at.
Moving your body creates a mechanism where you shift your attention away from your mind, and into your body. It could simply be shifting from sitting to standing. It could also be going to the kitchen/ pantry to get some water. It could also be going outdoors and having a walk.
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 4) Connect with Supportive Ones
Some other techniques that also work for me are texting a friend. I generally do not share what I was ruminating or overthinking about; I would just reach out and connect with a friend. This helps me because staying stuck in mental loops tend to add on to a sense of isolation and loneliness. I counter these sensations by taking action to reinforce the notion that I actually do have and am connected to people who care about me.
It could also be going on social media where we know threads/ spots where people are supportive.
I would refrain from mindlessly scrolling in such instances because the scrolling may add fuel to the mental patterns.
Coping with Rumination and Overthinking 5) Listening to Music
I may also listen to music that help me express my feelings or I may also choose music or songs that can help me shift my mood.
A Note about Coping Strategies
Our coping mechanisms may not work 100% of the time.
Sometimes one strategy works but it may not work again at the following instance. It doesn’t mean that it doesn’t work. It just means that it didn’t work that time.
Be patient and try something else. One that didn’t work before may even work when you don’t expect it to.
Conclusion
I hope this post has been helpful for you in sparking some inspiration on coping with rumination and/ or overthinking. If you would like to add your own strategy in the comments, that would be greatly welcomed.